I am so excited to have the amazing Katy from Chaos and Kiddos: Mommy's Survival Guide here to guest post. Let me tell you- she is one busy Mama, between raising the cutest twin boys ever, and being a Mama to her lovely step-daughter, she also owns her own business (what?!) and blogs... I want to be her when I grow up! She also has OCD just like me, that never makes things easy or does it? Check out below-
A Lesson in Humility: Why Choosing Medication was the Best Move for Me
Hello, my name is Katy and I’m a perfectionist. Super driven, crazy laser-beam focused and truthfully, pretty successful. My ability to multi-task while managing high level projects has opened some pretty amazing doors for me professionally. I don’t say that from a position of ego. Not in the least. I say all that because at some point, I started confusing my professional drive with the me that my family needed at home. I say that because at some point, I was even so proud as to claim myself capable of managing my OCD all by myself. With some very devastating results. While my OCD meshes mostly well with my professional endeavors and working environments, it most definitely does not have a place in my home. The day I truly realized that and accepted that I needed to ask for help was momentous.
My life has never been particularly easy, and I guess over time, I didn’t realize that with each passing challenge, my anxiety increased a little bit more. My need for control and order became more aggressive and insistent. I didn’t see it but it was happening. I was frustrated with my family and with my life for not living up to my expectations of what I considered logical and just. What I didn’t realize was that those expectations weren’t grounded in rational thought. Plain speak. It just wasn’t fair. They were amplified by my anxiety and the compulsive need to have everything under control, excelling at the highest level, and perfectly ordered. All the time.ALL.THE.TIME. Anyone who didn’t see the world the way that I did became an adversary, even at home. Maybe I should even say, mostly at home. There was never a peaceful moment, never a period of relaxation where the never-ending to do list was tabled, never a moment I didn’t feel resentment that the rest of the world and my family didn’t feel the sense of urgency to “get stuff done” like I did. Didn’t they see it?!
I found myself in a very dark, very angry, and ultimately very lonely place.And then the panic attacks started. My first reaction was to blame. I took the easy way out by pointing the finger at everyone around me. It will come as no surprise that nothing was gained there and the panic attacks got worse. I finally started looking at myself and contemplating my constant edginess and frustration. I started asking myself if I was being fair to my family and everyone else in my life, myself included. And the answer was a definitive no.
At my next appointment with my counselor, I admitted that it was time for me to explore medication. To her great relief, she agreed (I had been steadfastly against it before then, so she was respectfully exploring alternatives to coping with my anxiety). It took a few weeks before I started to notice a change, and then maybe even a few weeks after that before those around me started to notice the change. I’ve reached a happy place. A place where my professional drive can live to its merry heart’s content in the workplace, but where I find peace and a rational approach to life outside of the office. I find myself relaxed, not in a constant rush, and I even see the kids loosening up. I guess I really didn’t know how much my anxiety had affected my daily life and relationships until it wasn’t there anymore. And it felt good. It feels good. Do I still have moments of anxiousness? Yes. But now they are fleeting and I see them for what they are.
Moral of the story here? I’m definitely not saying medication is the one and only right way. Not at all. What I’m saying is that it’s ok to ask for help and to look into options that you previously hoped to avoid for whatever reason. It’s ok to need/choosemedical intervention. I’ve finally come to a place of acceptance that I am a better person when I take this medication and that’s a win in my book. Don’t let stigmas or preconceived notions of a particular wellness plan derail your journey.Ultimately, whatever works best for you is best for you. Your journey is yours alone and your chosen path to healing is the right one. Whatever direction that path may take you.
Welcome to the chaos! I’m Katy, the writing Mama behind Chaos & Kiddos: Mommy’s Survival Guide. In between juggling twin toddler boys, a rowdy preteen stepdaughter, a handful of fish, a newly acquired snail and a self-entitled bull dog with my husband of almost 10 years, I work full time in sales and also run an engagement, wedding and boudoir photography business in Virginia Beach, VA.
When I’m not elbows-deep in kiddo crazy, you can find me behind the camera, teaching others basic photography skills or managing The Studio Hampton Roads. Yup, I’m one busy gal! Call me crazy, but life is good. I’m not sure how I manage to keep it all together, but I’ve got a good feeling that my obsessive compulsive disorder and raging perfectionism probably keep me running at the speed of light, however precariously.
I received my Ipsy bag and this month was just okay, but I have had amazing bags the past few times, so I'm cool with it.
What is Ipsy? It's a subscription company that sends 4-5 deluxe and full sized beauty products, and a fun little makeup bag is always included! You can review the products you receive and refer others to earn IpsyPoints to go towards extra products!
The cost: $10 a month total with shipping (steal of a deal!)
My thoughts: This month was just okay for me. I will probably use everything. My favorite items were the Pacifica eye-shadow, and the ipsy bag. The eye-shadow colors are great and I am excited to try them out. The purple-y color will make my greens eyes pop for sure. The nail-polish is fine, but I have so many and I am just not into shimmer right now. I will try the moisturizer- it does have a high value, but I have sensitive skin (and a lot of samples of other kinds) so we will see. My feet need some help, but I still wasn't overly thrilled to see the foot scrub... who knows it maybe wonderful, I will let you know! Although this wasn't my favorite month, I am still overall pleased. I can't complain for paying only $10. I had some amazing past few months so it was time to get just an okay one.
Click here to sign-up. There is currently a waiting list that usually lasts about a month and a half... It felt like forever, but it was well worth the wait!!
After you sign-up, like their page on FB, they have days where you can get off the wait-list using their special link...
Did you get this month's bag? What did you think?
*I paid for this subscription out of my own pocket- this post does contain referral links, for each referral you get IpsyPoints which you can save up for an extra product.